A January day that lives forever

In my head —
      I’ve tried a million
      times to go back
      to that day —
tried to change
      my choices
begged a do-over
      from the universe
I’ve crippled myself with
      guilt
      sorrow
thrashing the quicksand
      sinking in
      layers of grief
fighting a sticky web
      trapped in
      regret-regret-regret
I don’t even care about
      my own
      broken heart
I’m sorry
      I broke yours

—Terri Guillemets

Transforming

I translate stars into daydreams
I make rain and rainbows into
      freshly squeezed joy
I breathe the air of possibility
I swim deep in rivers of passion
I use my loneliness as
      a stepping stone to love
I am on the march to freedom
I tend to my blossoming soul

—Terri Guillemets

Forever lit with the soul of another

Immediate grief is a falling to the knees, a bleeding of the heart, a blow to the soul. Ongoing grief is a getting up; a call to move on; a healing and a strengthening; a melding of soul with sorrow, with loss, with life; a transformation of self to renewed being, rebuilt with the leavings of another.

—Terri Guillemets

Grieving to the marrow

GRIEF  twists the heart
and contorts the mind
carves the spirit hollow
wrings the past to tears
torrentially obscuring future
LOVE  saturates memory
until sorrow overflows
into every pore of present
ALL  you can feel is emptiness
and a lump in the throat
platitudes no consolation
but living on nonetheless

—Terri Guillemets

A thousand choices

Transform FEAR into —

curiosity, love, kindness, humor, hope, joy, knowledge, focus, laughter, awareness, wonder, willpower, wings, experience, faith, fervor, encouragement, enlightenment, challenge, gratitude, goodwill, action, learning, beginnings, opportunity, inertia, aim, determination, adventure, character, smiles, hard work, independence, liberation, letting go, peace, patience, perspective, awe, calmness, confidence, effort, insight, light, movement, living, overcoming, mindfulness, healing, grace, generosity, energy, acceptance, reflection, truth seeking, self-reliance, remedies, desire, fight, fortitude, freedom, intention, lessons, journeys, poise, positivity, art, poetry, singing, dancing, words, wisdom, wellness, trust, respect, compassion, affirmation, friendship, fun, fresh starts, stepping stones, goals, dreams, drive, duty, grit, cheer, excitement, apologies, forgiveness, plans, prayers, purpose, questions, coping, daring, empathy, helping, morale, moxie, nerve, heart, guts, resolve, self-discipline, spirit, tenacity, understanding, research, enthusiasm, valor, caution, courage, boldness, ability, readiness, information, life, meditation, mettle, options, decisions, protest, change, education, emancipation, volition, carpe diem, zeal, honesty, introspection, usefulness, appreciation, blessings, delight, dignity, play, exercise, hugs, deep breaths, doing, vantage points, U‑turns, exploration, growth, invitations, venture, virtue, value

—Terri Guillemets