After 2 bottles

BEER  to  EMOTIONS  inside:

Numb it.
      Make it fly.

Look into the mirror —
      see the skull
            within thy flesh

Find out where lives the why —
      somewhere between the bones
      and the part of life
      that touches reality,
      that dances with the day

Why do we hate
      all our little struggles?
      be numb to annoyances —
      be alive to the life,
      to the blood, the fiber
            of the day

Suffering blends with joy
      to such a degree that
      they are one and the same
      as the silver lining
            of a cloud is
      one with our souls

The sky rains down on the earth
      and we soak ourselves up
            in an ancient cycle
            of lost and found

It’s all in the air —
      can’t you feel it?
      smell it? taste it?
            It is there —
            everything.

You can’t run and hide
because it will always be there —
      in the very air we breathe
      in the layers of earth —
            the clay, the
            lava and fire
      and smoke of existence

The beer, the thought,
      the audible, palpable heartbeats
      uncover the layers
            of dirt, the dust of time,
            the everything that
      we’ve kicked up over our wounds
            throughout the years

Some things are like a shovel
      and help us
            dig it out;
      some things
      help us sweep it away
      to return to the winds
      without guarantee
            that it won’t
      return again some future day
            even tomorrow
            or in our dreams

And should we really be so selfish
      or stubborn or unrealistic
      that we wouldn’t expect it
      to resurface yet again — someday
      can’t we just feel happy
            and blessed
                  and free
      that it’s taken its leave
            for today?

Don’t be jealous
      of the birds
      with their wings
and the bodily structure
      to fly away —
an aerial view doesn’t
      necessarily mean
      that they have
            the capacity
to leave it all behind

The wings carry much
but the body carries more
and within our bodies
like an intricate puzzle
the mind fills up
with ever-heavy thoughts
and overflowing rivers —
thoughts & emotions
that spill quickly
      and restlessly
      into the heart:
and try to fly —
      just try it —
            I dare you —
with all that cargo

Perhaps it’s not
      the wings
      after all
that allow us to fly
but the breath —
the taking it in
the letting it go
the filling up
      with essentials
            of life
so there isn’t room
      for anything else
but the air, the breath —
and isn’t that everything?

We’re all running —
every single one of us
      is running —
            running from
            running towards
even those of us who
      think we’re content
      sitting perfectly still
are being carried along
      because no one
      or nothing
      really sits still
the tide would die
      had it nowhere to roll

—Terri Guillemets

100% unedited, written after my empty stomach made the acquaintance of two bottles Peroni Nastro Azzurro — a writing experiment to determine if my tipsy self made any more or less sense than its sober side — if you’re wondering, the results are inconclusive — I think we’re both a little crazy

Ægrimonia

i’ve got blood in my anger
and sorrow in my veins
worry runs through me
it’s nonstop insane
my heart is clogged up
with obsessions and pains
dear lord unconfuse me
i’m crippled in vain
my body’s too toxic
unsteady i walk
with fear as my cane
will ill-thoughts kill me
they’ve poisoned my brain

—Terri Guillemets

Riven

joyful forty, forty-one
it was just getting good
i was just getting started
and then cruel life
dealt blow after blow
for year after year
with death and strife
thieving my calm
and ova and sight
healers and patches
blessed the rocky way
but nothing’s the same —
what of me remains?
stitches and fray

—Terri Guillemets

Six v. three

January 13th 2022
We will allow Americans to die
by letting disease spread unchecked.

June 21st 2022
We will allow the Constitution to die
by intertwining church and state.

June 23rd 2022
We will allow people to die
by not controlling the guns.

June 24th 2022
We will allow women to die
by controlling their bodies.

June 30th 2022
We will allow Earth to die
by not protecting any of it.

Quod erat demonstrandum
To common sense, common good,
and general well-being we dissent.

Venus falling

I saw something very strange last night when I got out of bed to use the bathroom. Out the east window I saw a bright white light in the sky. Not knowing what time it was, at first I assumed it was Venus. But it wasn’t dawn yet. And then suddenly I noticed that it was slowly moving straight downward. It disappeared out of view behind my neighbor’s house. I looked at the clock, and it was 12:26 AM. I still have no idea what it was — it seemed too slow and straight and steady to be a meteor, but I don’t know what else it could’ve been that would’ve been moving in a linear downward motion. We are still in the tau Herculids date range, so I suppose that’s a possibility. I’ve never seen anything like it. Checked the local news for the day but didn’t see anything. Guess I’ll just never know.

Tau Herculids shooting stars

I saw 6 meteors last night during the tau Herculids meteor shower, from my backyard. I wasn’t expecting to see any, given how light our night sky is here in Phoenix! The first one I saw at 8:45 pm MST, just while going out briefly to check the location of the constellations. Then an hour later I laid on the ground and saw 5 more from 9:45 to 10:15 pm. Nothing after that, so I came back in at 10:30 and went to bed. It was a wonderful night!

In a COVID fever

If this is to be my end, what would I want to tell the world?

Sometimes, starting over is the best medicine.

Everything you care about can teach you something about yourself. Everything you hate can teach you even more.

Most things don’t really matter. And the things that do really matter, keep them as simple as possible.

Learning to let go is the most valuable life lesson.

What you see is gossamer compared to what actually exists.

The human brain may be the deepest, most amazing, underutilized miracle in the universe. And the most abused.

Fear is a poison to every part of our systems. So are worry and tension. And hatred.

If little things make you happy, you are very wise.

Walking is good for the whole body, but it works the gears of the brain the most.

All of life is poetry. Listen.

Night is a dark, magical place we can curl up and relax into.

Those whom we love are the meaning — the meaning of life itself.

Mingle your mind with other minds, your heart with other hearts.

It can all be over in the blink of an eye, so treasure every blink.

The music of your soul lives on.

My life thus far has been forty-eight years of nonstop trying.

Since the day I was born, I’ve been nothing but emotion. With frequent intervals of coldhearted reason.

Get drunk once in a while. It makes the world make more sense.

No matter how much human wisdom there is, the best teacher is always nature.

I love you.

—Terri Guillemets

Insides out

a writer tries valiantly
to transform his insides
into an intricate beautiful painting
and publish himself inside-out
for all the world to see

—Terri Guillemets

Hopeless?

creature after creature
loses its home
or goes extinct

earth herself
thanks to us
is on the brink

man-made
in the end doesn’t
mean what we think

man-made
means the same as
man destroyed —

WE  are the weak link.

—Terri Guillemets